Free Range Chickens

Hmm no rants in here. I will take care of that.

I am so upset about the free range chickens that are sold in grocery stores. I mean come on man. These chickens fore fathers escaped the terrine of the oppressive farmers and came to the rescue of the Mighty bovines when they rebelled. I remeber that day. The day of the Cows with guns. See the government had the bovines surrounded and were about to go in for the kill. They had everything from Tanks to .50 cal?s National Guard. Regular Army. Some air force dudes in there rollie chairs. Some had A1 steak sauce in there back pockets some had Hines 57. Then just when the Great and mighty bovine saw there destruction about to unfold. There was a deafening sound in the distance was a 100000 chickens in helicopters. Ok back to my point. So these chickens whose freedom was hard fought. Signed a treaty with the government and were given reservations. Are now being hunted down and sold as FREERANGE CHICKENS? Oh know my people there is nothing Free about the ranges they live on. They had to peck and spur and mow down many solders with hell fire missiles to win there ranges. So please do not soil the brave Chicken Copter pilot?s memory that gave it there all on one cold wet winter?s day. Do not eat another free range chicken because there is nothing free about it. And remeber Pork it?s the other white meat.

Signed

Big Beak pecks a lot
Chief of the Fiery Feather Tribe.